Chapter 9: Mr. and Mrs. Grover J. Barnes Sr.

Do you Grover Jerry Barnes Sr. take Arnavay D. Tyler Benge Minter Barnes Tyler to be your lawful wedded wife? Grover and Arnavay both say "I do" exactly six months after Grover was last granted a divorce from Arnie and Myrtle on the same date - June 19, 1953. Was this a romantic coincidence or another calculated move?When you read the court documents you see the restraining order the Judge authorized upon Arnie's request and you read his angry reply about her Intervening in the case between himself, Myrtle and Grover Jr. But it is just too fishy for me that the property is not divided or sold within 30 days after the June 19th judgement. Then they are married again on December 19th after the judge says all must wait six months to remarry.

May I present Mr. and Mrs. Grover J. Barnes Sr.

I was given this picture by Arnie's niece who I talked to in Sallisaw. The picture was taken December 19, 1953. I never brought up anything I knew about their relationship or the court cases. I was not there to educate her on my findings, I was there to listen and learn about their relationship from her family's viewpoint. They didn't know anything about my Grandma Barnes or all the courthouse mayhem. Her family just saw them as having a "love, hate" relationship and felt the on again, off again relationship was due to Grover's drinking. Arnie's niece is a very nice person and was very kind to welcome us into her home to share pictures and stories. She is a woman in her 70's, never married and devoted her life to education and travel, but was still very close to her family. She told me Grover's drinking would have had to cause problems in the marriage because Arnie did not drink and was against it. She also gave me a copy of Arnie's 1952 Sunday School Certificate Award. Please forgive my insert of sarcasm, but I personally find this all to be just a bit disingenuous of Miss Arnie. Of course, I believe her family was given a distorted view of their relationship and the entire situation.

Apparently sometime after this marriage, they bought property in Vian/Gore area. The home was what they called a cabin and they managed other cabins on the property. It was actually not very clear to me, but I believe they owned all the cabins. They were renting out the house on 5th Street in Tulsa and then renting/ managing the cabins in Vian/Gore. Arnie continued to work as a home health nurse and Grover Sr was still working on a line crew. Arnie's niece gave me the picture below of the Grand River Dam where he was working on line construction. She said he took a bad fall and Arnie cared for him during his rehabilitation. Despite his time off work, they were still bringing in a good income. So, there should not have been any excuses for him not paying the court ordered alimony and expenses.

Pictures of the Cabin given to me by Arnie's niece:

However, on June 20, 1955, my father, Grover Jr. filed an Application For Citation against Grover Sr. The document below, states that Grover Sr. had not paid the $15.00 per month to Grover Jr. since December, 1954 and he had not paid the institution in Vinita their payments since November, 1954. The document states that he has been asked to pay, but has "wholly failed to do so". Then on August 29, 1955, a Court Order was issued for Grover Sr. to appear in Court September 9th, 1955 to explain why he has not paid and why he should not be held in contempt of court. He was issued a summons the next day.

Unless I missed something when I went through the file to be copied, that is where the file ends. I do not know if there was a court appearance on the 9th of September, whether Grover decided to pay what he owed, or it the court date was delayed into October.

Application For Citation

What I can tell you, is Grover Sr. fell over with a probable massive heart attack on Octboer 12, 1955 and died instantly. He was at the cabin and working on it outdoors. He was alone, Arnie had gone on her home health rounds into Muskogee. Someone in one of the other cabins called for help, however, he was dead and was taken to a funeral home in Sallisaw. Since they could not get ahold of Arnie, my father was called. The story I am about to relate from my husband, was just told to me after leaving the house of Arnie's niece. In 1981, my father retired from Public Service Company of Oklahoma. My husband, Chester, was having trouble finding a job in the field of his degree, which was landscaping. Since my Dad was leaving PSO, he was able to help Chester get a job driving a truck for a crew at PSO. All the men of course knew and had worked with my Dad and there were a few that had worked with my Grandfather, Grover Sr. They said Grover Sr. was not a likable person and not easy to work for. Some had said they were with Grover Jr. they day he got the call about his Dad. He was asked to come identify the body. There was no emotion, no sadness. He went in, said something like, "yes that is my Dad", turned around and walked out.

So, once again, I have given you the facts that I know. I hope one day soon, I can go back to Sallisaw on a weekday, to check court records for any more answers or clues. However, I think we are still left hanging - a little disappointed that we do not have the complete story. It's hard to not let your imagination run wild and then threaten to take the facts of a tragic series of events and sensationalize them. 

You have listened to me since the chapter where I first introduced Arnie, share my facts and the reasons why I believe with Arnie and Grover Sr. everything was planned and calculated. Beginning when Grover Sr. plotted to take Myrtle's insurance money and put her away, while Arnie was divorcing her Second husband to the day Grover Sr. died. So, bear with me as I throw a possibly wild conclusion out there for you to consider. With Arnie's nursing education and background, could she have given him something before she left to do her Home Health Nursing rounds that would cause a heart attack?  There wasn't an autopsy done on him, and who in their right mind would suspect anything different of a 63 year old man who smoked, drank in excess and was on the overweight side? Yes I do believe it to be possible that Grover Sr. was not the only cold calculated person looking out for himself. Look at who lost the most in the situation and who came out ahead. Grover Sr. only paid a little over one year of the seven awarded years of Alimony awarded to Myrtle. With Grover gone, she didn't have to pay the rest of the alimony to Myrtle.  Arnie filed for divorce several times and was always denied sole custody of the house. With Grover Sr. gone she now has sole ownership of everything. I found the records where she kept the house on 5th street as a rental until 1976, when she sold it and I know from her niece, that she lived at the cabin in Vian until she could no longer care for herself. While Myrtle continued to live her life to the age of 87 always being cared for in either a mental institution or later a nursing home. As far as I know, there were no funds awarded after Grover's death to help care for Myrtle. Then again, you can say that the whole situation "is what it is" a man who abused his body, worked hard physically and had to have been under a great deal of stress brought on by his own lifestyle of deceit.

So, I would really like to hear from you. What would be your conclusion of the missing pieces? What kind of relationship do you think Grover Sr. and Arnie really had? Share with me your theories about  the Judge's final ruling which was basically a ruling of compromise.

I was taught by my parents that even in bad situations, God will bring good from it. I have shared so much sadness, so much anger, hurt and wrong doings, that I believe I need to end on a positive note. I would actually like to end this account with a tribute in the following epilogue..............

Chapter 8: Barnes vs Barnes AND the Intervener

Before Grover Sr. is Summons on January 20, 1953 to appear in court, Myrtle Barnes' son and newly appointed guardian, Grover Jr. files a petition on behalf of her on December 30, 1952. The defendant, Myrtle, is asking the court to vacate and set aside the decree of divorce that was rendered against her on December 12, 1947. Grover Jr. is accusing Grover Sr. of frauduantly obtaining a divorce from Myrtle during the time she was committed to the asylum for the incompetent while acting as her legal Guardian. The following petition is long, however, it gives a detailed account of Grover Jr.'s accusations against his father, Grover Sr. Here is a brief list of the accusations:

1. Fraudulent divorce on December 12, 1947
2. Allegations within the proceedings were false and fraudulent
3. Fraudulent statement of both parties not sharing property and why
4. The appointed Guardian ad litem, W. O. Moffett was not authorized to act as her attorney and he also did not represent her best interest
5. Grover Sr. never disclosed to the Court at the time he filed the petition, that he was legal guardian of  his wife, Myrtle
6. Grover Sr. was not residing in Tulsa County. At the time he filed his petition, he was living in Los Angelas County of California. At this point, I doubt that my father knew that Grover Sr. admitted he was living with Arnie in California, before a different Judge when Arnie filed for divorce from him back in May of 1952. I say that because, I would have thought that would have been another accusation listed in this Petition.

Petition To Vacate Decree

The following document is Grover Sr.'s Answer to this petition. Notice in this document under the fifth statement, Grover Sr. gives a detailed account of how he believes his son, Grover Jr., is doing this for the sole purpose of malice toward himself.

After this, on April 25, 1953, a Subpoena and Praecipe for Subpoena is issued to Quincy J. Jones and W. P. Barnes as witness for Plaintiff, Grover Barnes Sr., and to appear in court May 5, 1953. I hope my Legal Council can shed some light on this, because I'm not sure I understand this. The legal definition for Praecipe for Subpoena is to demand someone to do something or show cause why he or she should not. Unless it has something to do with neither men wanting to be a witness for the Plaintiff. I know that W. P. (Buddy), supported his brother Grover Jr. and they shared the same feelings about their parents. Now Quincy Jones was Grover Sr.'s attorney at the questionable 1947 divorce hearing. The only thing I know about Quincy Jones is what I researched about him on the internet. He was a prominent lawyer in Tulsa during the 1930's and 1940. He was retired at the time and he died less than a year after this Subpoena was issued. His obituary says he died after a lengthy illness of cancer, so he was more than likely sick at this time. There is nothing in the file to show if this appearance actually took place on May 5th of 1953. 

The next document jumps to May 16th, 1953. 

It is an Amendment To Petition issued by Grover Barnes, Sr.

Apparently, Arna Vay has changed her mind about setting aside the divorce granted December, 1952. Now she has decided to file an order to Intervene. The following document shows she needs to set up and establish any and all claims that she may have to the property both real and personal involved in this action and to be granted any and all other relief which to the court seems right and proper.

Order Permitting Arnavay Barnes  To Intervene

Dated May 21, 1953

The next day, on the 22nd of May, 1953, Grover Sr. files a Motion to Vacate the Order. However, he is denied and a restraining order is filed by Arnie, against him. He is restrained from causing her bodily harm, disposing of Assets and coming to the property they own and where they both have been residing, at 1412 E. 5th St. in Tulsa.

Arnie then files a Motion stating she believes she has grounds for divorce and would like to see it settled within the lawsuit between Grover Sr. and Myrtle Barnes. the following Motion:

On June 10th, 1953, Grover Sr. files his Answer to Petition of Intervener

 The document below is an Answer and Cross-Petition filed by Grover Jr., in behalf of his Mother, Myrtle Barnes. This petition finally allows Myrtle, along with Grover Jr., to answer Grover Sr.'s allegations from 1947. This time Grover Sr.'s relationship with Arnie, before the marriage took place January, 1948 in Los Angeles, is addressed. He is not only being accused of gross neglect in his duty as Guardian, but as an Adulterer. Grover Jr. also wants to prove that Myrtle should have an interest in the house on 5th Street. Since he believes Grover Sr. was still married to Myrtle, then it was their joint ownership of funds that purchased the house.

 On June 10, 1953, Grover Sr. comes back and of course, denies each and every allegation contained in the above document.   Then on the 11th of June, three doctors appointed by Judge Elmer Adams of Tulsa County, where asked to examine Myrtle Barnes. They stated their findings concerning Myrtle Barnes, who was currently a patient of Eastern State Hospital in Vinita. She was found by them to be suffering from a chronic form of mental illness and it was their opinion that she was incurable and would never be able to be cared for outside of a mental hospital.

By June 16th, the trial concerning Grover Sr. vs Myrtle Barnes, by way of her Guardian Grover Jr, along with the Intervener, Arnavay Barnes, drew to a close and Judge Elmer Adams handed down his Judgement. The way I understand the following Decree of Divorce, Judge Adams did not find favor with just one party. I will list below a recap of Judge Adams' final judgement.

1. Grover Sr. and Arnavay were legally married on January 3rd, 1948 in Los Angeles, California
2. Grover Sr. is entitled to a divorce from Myrtle by reason of the fact that she has been adjudged as incurably incompetent and had been for at least five (5) years before May 18, 1953.
3. Grover Sr. must pay to Myrtle for a period of seven (7) years, the sum of $60.00 per month for her support. Of that $60.00, $45.00 would go directly to the institution and then $15.00 to Grover Jr., her Guardian. (Grover Jr. had asked for twelve (12) years.
4. Arnavay Barnes is granted a divorce from Grover Sr. All cash on hand is to be divided among them and Grover Sr. is to pay Arnavay $700.00 for personal property.
5. Arnavay is denied Alimony payments.
6. Burial Lots in Muskogee are to be divided between Grover Sr. and Myrtle. However, the house and property at 1412 E. 5th St. in Tulsa is awarded to Arnavay and Grover Sr.
7. Arnavay and Grover Sr. are given thirty (30) days to either sell the property or buy one another out. If not, the Court will handle the division.
8. Grover Sr. is to pay for Myrtle's attorney fees of $150.00 and Arnavay's attorney fees of $100.00 by July 1, 1953.
9. The Judge also decrees that the bonds of matrimony are dissolved between Grover Sr. and Myrtle and Grover Sr. and Arnavay. Neither of the three parties are allowed to remarry for six (6) months from the date of June 19, 1953. Arnavay also asked to restore her name to her maiden name and the Judge granted her request.
10. Grover Sr. was allowed to keep his 1952 Chevrolet one-half ton pick-up truck as his separate property. Arnavay was allowed to keep the household furniture as her separate property.

 Decree of Divorce

I wish I could tell you that all the parties involved went their separate ways and lived happily ever after, but I can't. I can't even tell you absolutely, positively for sure what actually happened. I can show you the documents and share with you what I was told by my parents and what I have been told in the past few weeks, however, we are all going to end up drawing our own conclusions as to what exactly happened between Grover, Myrtle, his three children and Arnavay. The answers to many of the questions are literally dead and buried.

I personally think that Grover Sr. hadn't any idea as to how to be a husband or father and resented Myrtle and his children very early in their marriage. I think he was a con artist, a lier, a cheat, a drunk and a womanizer. Myrtle was a meek, mild woman and I believe he took advantage of it and drove her to a nervous breakdown. He seized the opportunity to rid himself of her, take her money and sever a relationship with his children. 

At first I couldn't understand the connection of Arnavay purchasing the house on 5th Street in 1945 and then allowing Grover Sr. to put his name on the deed in 1952. Why would she do this when she had filed for divorce before and then again twice after that date. Was there an agreement between them or did he con her? I think you will have to draw your on conclusion about this also. But I can tell you that I think everything he did was a calculated move to benefit himself and himself only. I think he used and probably abused Arnavay, but at the same time, she didn't appear to have any regard for Myrtle or Grover Sr.'s children. She appears to me to have been set on obtaining as much as she could from Grover Sr, no matter what it cost. As far as the house goes, I think my father was right about the money paid for on the house on 5th street coming from money acquired while Grover Sr. was married to Myrtle. I think Grover Sr. gave Arnavay the money to purchase the house so it could not be tied back to him while he was pursuing a divorce from Myrtle. With what I have found out about Grover Sr. and Arnavay, I believe he had something to hold over her, in order to force her to put Grover Sr.'s name on the property in 1952.

Well, I will stop here. I have given you much to read and much to digest. I promise, the conclusion in the next chapter will be much shorter............