I have very little documentation as to what happened to the Barnes Family between 1931 and 1939. All I can go on are the memories my father shared with me, my Aunt Betty's memories and pictures. My Aunt's memory is very sketchy though. Not only is she 88 years old, but she suffered a stroke a year ago, and you have to remember she was only between the ages of 8 and 16 during this time period.
I have a very hard time understanding why my Grandmother Myrtle took the children and returned home to my Grandfather after 1929. Perhaps she was like many abused women who feel they do not have the emotional or physical means to make it on their own without a husband. Also, since one of the sitings for divorce listed in the divorce she filed in 1929 in Muskogee was concerning the bad company Grover Sr. was keeping, I suspect she felt that moving to Tulsa could be a fresh start for their family. She possibly thought if Grover was away from the bad influence, he would become a better father and husband.
This did not happen though, he was the same drunken abusive womanizing man he was in Muskogee. To make matters worse, Myrtle was involved in an accident I have not been able to document. I was only told by my Dad that she was hit by a Trolley Car and her medical bills were taken care of. One fact that is documented though, is that she was issued an insurance policy through Aetna, that would pay out if she ever became mentally or physically disabled and was unable to work.
I am only speculating, but I believe it was not long after they came to Tulsa that Myrtle began to shut down mentally and emotionally. If the Trolly Car Accident did truly happen, I believe it was a point of no return to sanity for Myrtle. I remember my Dad telling us that he, Buddy and Betty were left alone a lot. She would wander the streets without any regard for her safety or physical well-being. She was found, for example, out in the snow without proper clothing or shoes on. She would scribble on the Barnes extended family photos – even her own children’s. Betty shared with me that she remembers her Dad working at the Laundromat at night when they first came to Tulsa, but later he went back on the road working from town to town as an Electrical Lineman. My Dad would tell me that the three children would be responsible for getting to school on their own. My Dad graduated from Tulsa Central High School in 1937 and Buddy graduated from Tulsa Central in 1938. Betty is not sure when she married, but I do know that she married Norman Young before she was to graduate in 1942. She left school, married and then returned to Will Rogers High School to finish her Senior Year and graduate in 1943 as Betty Barnes Young. My Dad said his parents did not attend his commencement ceremony and I am sure the same was true for Buddy and Betty.
After they came to Tulsa, the boys were old enough to start working at the Laundromat. Before my Dad could drive, he also had a job delivering telegraphs for Wester Union. He would ride his bike delivering telegraphs to people in the downtown area to make a dime per telegraph. The picture to the right is of Grover Jr. in his Western Union uniform and the picture below is group shot of the employees of Barnes-Manley Dry Cleaners. Whenever he was eligible to drive, he drove a truck for the Dry Cleaners. When Buddy first started dating Pennie in 1939, his second wife, he was working in the back pressing pants. |
| Grover Jr. is back row, 4th from right end and Buddy is next to last row, 9th from right end. The year this photo was taken is unknown. My father looks to be about 16 or 17 so that would be 1934 or 1935. |
Grover Sr.’s sister, Cleathel Frances Barnes Reese, her husband John Reese, children Johnny and Lorene, all lived on the same street as Grover's family. Both families rented houses from their brother Lewis. Barnes-Manley was at 538 S. Victor and he owned the houses on the same street as the Dry Cleaners. Betty said she could remember Uncle John helping them when they were alone. She can remember him taking her for a doctor appointment once and going to the store for them.
It has also been said that Myrtle's brother Ancil tried to help her. I think that Myrtle may have gone to stay with Ancil for a while, possibly after the accident, and he found that he could not help her mental state. I believe she was doing the same thing in Muskogee with Ancil, wandering the streets and unable to cope with reality, so she went back to Grover and the children in Tulsa.
That brings me now to 1939, when Grover saw an opportunity to free himself of Myrtle and at the same time financially benefit from it........
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