My story begins On the 18th day of December in 1915 when Grover J. Barnes Sr. married Myrtle Laxton. They were both residents of Muskogee, Oklahoma and were also married in Muskogee. The marriage was officiated by the First Baptist minister named E. G. Butler with Mrs. E. G. Butler and Miss Cora Newton, both of Muskogee, as witnesses to the Union.
Grover and Myrtle lived in Muskogee on B Street and Grover worked for Oklahoma Gas and Electric of Muskogee. Grover and Myrtle had three children. Grover Jr., born August 18, 1918 was their first child and he is the baby in the picture below. While still in Muskogee, their second child was born eleven months later, William Paul (Buddy), born October 12, 1919 and then their daughter, Betty Jo born July 7th of 1923.
My father, Grover Jr., never shared the details about his upbringing, but after what I have learned, I don't know that he actually knew it all. He shared with me once that he can remember his mother gathering he, Buddy and Betty to take them to his Maternal Grandparent's house whenever his Dad came home drunk. But beyond that he doesn't remember. He didn't remember much about his Grandma Carrie Barnes because she died when he was only 5, the year Betty was born. He doesn't remember a relationship with his Grandpa Bill Barnes, but does remember that his Grandfather committed suicide when Grover Jr. was 15 years of age. I have talked to many of my Dad's first cousins in the past 20 years and it was told to them by their mothers, the five Barnes sisters who had children, that Bill Barnes abused his daughters. Bill Barnes left a suicide note, but he did not give an explanation of why he shot himself in a motel room in 1933. However, it would make me wonder if it was out of guilt for the way he treated his family.
The picture below was given to me by one of Grover Sr.'s sister's granddaughter, Judy Watkins who lives in Okay, Oklahoma. Judy's grandmother was Cleathel Frances Barnes Reese. Cleathel and Grover Sr., lived near each other in Muskogee and then later on the same street in Tulsa. This picture was taken in 1928 in Muskogee at their home. Buddy is 9, Betty is 5 and Grover Jr. is 10.
I would like to now begin to share what I have uncovered about the marriage of Myrtle and Grover Barnes Sr. I wish I knew how they met, but I can only hope by sharing their story with the many cousins I am finding, that more mysteries will be uncovered. My Grandmother was a very quiet, meek, mild person and Grover Sr. was anything but. He was a large man in stature who had a temper, was controlling and demanding. Below is a portrait of my Grandmother when she was so young and beautiful, along with a portrait of my Grandfather in his late teens, early twenties.
On May 1st of 1929, a petition was filed at the Muskogee Court House on behalf of Mrs. Myrtle Barnes. Mrs. Barnes states the following:
(3) That for a long time continuously down to the present time, defendant (Grover J. Barnes Sr.) has been guilty of extreme cruelty towards plaintiff (Myrtle Barnes). That defendant has abused plaintiff in public and in private to her great mental humiliation and pain and has threatened to do great bodily injury to her, even to the extent of threatening her life. (4) As a further cause of action, that for a long time past and continuously down to the present time, the defendant has been guilty of habitual drunkenness; that he has been in the habit during said period of coming home at all hours of the night in a state of maudlin intoxication, and during which time he associates with persons of bad reputation and is guilty of conduct unbecoming to a married man. (5) Plaintiff states that she has given the defendant no cause or provocation whatsoever for his conduct as aforesaid, and she is without fault in the premises. (6) Plaintiff states that defendant earns a salary of $200.00 per month; that plaintiff and defendant own a Whippet car, two years old, household goods and kitchen furniture and a radio. (7) Plaintiff states that she verily believes that unless defendant is restrained by an order of this court he will dispose of or destroy their property, and that her life and the lives of her children are in danger on account of the threats and demostration of defendant; that defendant has recently made and has offered to shoot them with a shot gun.
Wherefore, plaintiff prays that she may be divorced from her husband by reason of his fault as aforesaid; that she be allowed and decreed the care and custody of the children of said marriage; that the court set apart the personal property above described to plaintiff for her use in maintaining a home for her and her children; and that the defendant be required to pay her alimony for the support and maintenance of their children in such sums as the court may deem just and resonable; she prays that defendant be required to pay forthwith the sum of $75.00 for the subsistence of herself and children during the pendency of this action; that he pay the sum of $75.00 forthwith as attorney’s fees to her attorneys in this action, and that she have her costs herein expended and all proper relief.
On the same day of May 1st, 1929, Grover J. Barnes Sr. received a court ordered Restraining Order stating the following:
It is therefore ordered that the defendant, Grover J. Barnes, be, and he is hereby restrained from disposing of any of the property belonging to plaintiff and defendant, or molesting plaintiff in the possession of the automobile now in her possession, and that he further be restrained from interfering with plaintiff and her children and from doing any violence to her and those with who she is now temporarily residing.
It is further ordered that within five days from the service hereof, that defendant pay into court the sum of $75.00, suite money for plaintiff and for the maintenance of herself and children pending this action, and that he pay the sum of $50.00 to apply on plaintiff’s attorney fee.
According to this restraining order, she apparently left the house with the three children, who were ages 10, 9 and 5 years of age. I can only assume that she went to her mother and stepfather’s house, William and Margaret Rains or to her brother and sister in law’s house, Ancil and Mora Laxton who all lived in Muskogee.
I also know from the Muskogee Court House, that the divorce was never finalized. I don’t know how long after this, but she eventually went back home to Grover with the children. Because of the Depression, sometime in 1931 the family moved to Tulsa and lived near Grover’s brother Lewis's business, Barnes-Manley Dry Cleaners. Grover, Myrtle and eventually the children went to work for his brother Lewis.
In the next chapter of my story, I will pick up with documents from 1939 that were sealed at the Tulsa County Court House. With help, I feel fortunate to have been able to obtain these documents with a court order from the Judge. I also hope to share what I know of the time between 1931 and 1939 that my father told me along with the family members I have interviewed. However, much of what happened during that time died within the soul of my Grandmother during those years and then eventually physically died with her in 1981. So unfortunately, we may never know everything that happened, but I am anxious to share what I am learning...........
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